


Star Wars Episode IX: Spark Of Hope

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Star Wars Rewrites [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Amputation, Attempted Dark Poe, Badass Amilyn Holdo, Badass Rey, Don’t Try This At Home, Gay Poe Dameron, Jedi Rey, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Mistaken Inferences Of Dark Stuff But Inferences Nonetheless, Mommy Issues, Nar Shaddaa, Obsessive Kylo Ren, POV Kylo Ren, POV Poe Dameron, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Pilot Rey, Poe Dameron Has Nightmares, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Kylo Ren, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prisoner Everyone, Prisoner Poe Dameron, Resistance Leader Poe Dameron, Sequel to Canon Rewrite, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Speculation, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, The Last Jedi Spoilers, Torture, Torturer Kylo Ren, Unhealthy Relationships, mentions of leia - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-02 08:28:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 14,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13314363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Three years after the events of Crait, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren rules the First Order. But there are some who still stand against him. Led by Poe Dameron, the Resistance engages in a war to not only save the galaxy — but also, possibly, Kylo Ren himself.





	1. Awake

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Well, everyone, I’m really psyched to be working on this again! Anyway, sorry the first chapter’s rather slow; call it me setting the stage.

Kylo Ren was not in chains, but in that moment, he felt like he might as well be.

He was the Supreme Leader now. It had been three years since he had to take over for Snoke after the scavenger had killed him. It should have been something that was a cause for celebration, despite the circumstances that led them there.

Instead, it seemed to be the cause for more uncertainty.

And then there was the matter of who should have been there. Who should have been at his side. Who should have been ruling the galaxy with him.

The scavenger. And Poe Dameron.

And it seemed that memories of the latter would inevitably drive him mad.

He could remember things as small as the touch of his hand, the sound of his voice, the warmth of his laughter — Kylo Ren could remember, and every memory felt like a lightsaber going through his chest. Like even after all this time, he was the one who’d been stabbed, not his father or his uncle.

Those weren’t the only memories, of course. But they were some of the memories that bothered him the most. Even after three years fighting against the Resistance, he could still remember Poe Dameron too well. As much as he tried to think of him as meaning nothing to him, his memories — these cursed, burning memories — seemed to disagree.

Poe Dameron was nothing and everything to him. And the contradiction...it was almost unable to be processed.

It was in his chambers that he looked over Vader’s mask, half-melted, pale-looking, almost ghostly in the light, and he spoke to it.

“Grandfather,” he said. “I’m here.”

The mask was silent. It didn’t matter. Kylo Ren continued to speak to it.

“Forgive me. I feel it again. The call to the Light. It’s been getting stronger. Show me again, the power of the darkness, and I will let nothing stand in the way of the First Order. Show me, grandfather, and I will finish what you started.”

No answer. Kylo Ren supposed that he should be used to it by now. No matter how he reached for the Dark to save him, it seemed that it abandoned him.

Still, he supposed that no matter what happened, he would not falter. He would not fade. He would keep going in his goal, no matter what happened.

And the Resistance...the Resistance would pay for what they’d done. This Kylo Ren was certain of. They would pay for what they’d done, and in great pain.

And thinking about that, Kylo Ren could have some sort of clarity. Some sort of certainty.

“Grandfather,” he said. “No matter what happens, I will honor you to the last.”

And that was the utmost truth. Even with these horrible, burning memories inside him, he would honor his grandfather. To the very last.

***  
It was in his own bed that Poe Dameron struggled to get to sleep. They’d already had a funeral for the Resistance members who had died during the battle of Dantooine. So many people who had joined up in that moment because they thought that they were doing the right thing. And they were. They had all done beautifully and for the moment, they had beaten the First Order back. But they had lost a lot of great people. Noble people.

And then there was Ben. It seemed that the battle to restore his soul never seemed to end. There were times when Poe loved him and times where Poe hated him, but he wasn’t ready to give up on him, not yet. It was complicated, it truly was. That was the best way to describe it. Complicated. Too complicated.

Poe sighed and rolled over on his side. Sleeping was hard nowadays. It had been hard ever since joining the Navy, but here, it had just gotten harder. The best he could do was try and win the war, no matter what it took.

And, perhaps, save Ben. If he could.


	2. Relocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe’s Resistance makes plans to relocate to Nar Shaddaa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Breakfast was pretty solemn. Even as the others in the mess hall chatted freely, Poe couldn’t help but pick at his food. He still couldn’t help but think about the battle of Dantooine just yesterday, all the people they’d lost. He was no stranger to blood and death; it had been why he’d left the New Republic Navy initially because he couldn’t stand it anymore. But this...

Things like this never really got any easier.

And then there was Ben. Ben Solo. Kylo Ren. He was still out there. Poe hadn’t seen him face to face very often, but he knew that he was out there, out in the fields, committing more war crimes, more atrocities.

When someone you loved was doing that, it made what was going on hurt all the more.

“You should eat something.” Holdo’s voice. It jarred him out of his thoughts momentarily.

Poe forced a smile. “I’m fine.”

Holdo sighed. “You’re not very good at hiding your feelings.”

“I guess not.” Poe rubbed his temples. “We lost a lot of good people that day.”

“We did.” Holdo said. “It’s the way it goes in war, I’m afraid. War doesn’t discriminate in terms of who it takes.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Poe sighed. “Honestly, after Dantooine, we need a safe place to regroup.”

“What are you proposing?”

“I was thinking,” Poe said, “We could hit Nar Shaddaa. It’s easy to get lost in, and hard for the First Order to find us.”

Holdo looked thoughtful in that moment. “I can’t say that I’m fond of gambling. Not to mention some of the people who live there.”

“I know, they’re not exactly nice people,” Poe said. “But if you want to get lost, it’s our best bet. We need to find some sort of base there.”

“That’s true enough,” Holdo said.

It was after breakfast that Poe stood before the others.

“We’ve won a great victory at Dantooine,” he said. “Though not without heavy casualties. The First Order is likely regrouping, waiting to attack again. The best option we have is to go to Nar Shaddaa. It’s easy to get lost in, and the First Order would never suspect us there. From there, we can regroup ourselves.”

The others murmured among themselves. From what Poe could pick up, some of them weren’t too happy about going to Nar Shaddaa. He sighed.

“I’m not any happier with this than you are,” he said. “But it’s the best chance we’ve got.”

It was after the meeting was over that Holdo said, “You made a good choice.”

“Thank you.” Poe sighed. “It’s the best I can do, Vice Admiral. Keep talking.”

“Is that the best way you cope?”

“Yeah. Just keep going. No matter what.” Because in the end, Poe would be damned if he let Kylo Ren win.

Holdo nodded. “We’re right with you.”

Poe smiled, genuinely this time. “I know.”


	3. To Nar Shaddaa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance gets ready to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Getting to Nar Shaddaa was just a matter of knowing the exact hyperspace coordinates as well as changing their appearances a bit. After all, they were likely on a lot of WANTED posters right now. Kylo Ren — or Ben; the title “Supreme Leader” wasn’t something he deserved — was more than eager to hunt for them. He was more than eager to bring them to their knees. He would...

Well, stars knew what Kylo Ren would actually do when he caught up with them. Probably torture them. Or execute them. He hadn’t cared that he had married Poe before torturing him, after all...

And even remembering that was enough to hurt, enough to make Poe look around the room and reassure himself that he was safe now, and there was no way he was going back to that room.

Yeah. He was safe. Surrounded by people who he cared about, and who in turn cared about him.

“Commander?” Holdo’s voice.

Poe turned to look at her. She had vivid red hair this time, no doubt to keep others from recognizing her by her unique purple hair.

“Fine,” he said. “Just...thinking about the move to Nar Shaddaa.”

“Have you?”

“Yeah.”

“Has it been rough?” Holdo said.

Poe sighed. “It’s always rough, nights like these.”

“Yes.” Holdo looked tired, Poe couldn’t help but notice, with bruise-like shadows under her eyes. Had she been sleeping badly too? “The best thing we can do is survive them.”

“Yeah.” In the end, that applied to just about all things about fighting this seemingly endless war. “Yeah, exactly.”  
***  
Rey would have to change her appearance. It wasn’t the first time that she had done this, of course; ever since Kylo Ren (she refused to call him the Supreme Leader; he didn’t deserve the title) had started hunting down Jedi left and right, changing her appearance had become a necessity, actually. More than a necessity. It had become a means of survival. All her life she had become used to the idea of surviving; she couldn’t say that she was used to the idea of actually letting her guard down. Actually relaxing. A survivor, that was what she was, in many ways.

She let her hair down. She was used to wearing it up in elaborate hairstyles, usually the three buns that she imagined her parents recognizing her by. Their little five year old daughter, left behind on Jakku. But Kylo Ren would recognize her too easily by the three buns. Not to mention her lightsaber.

She dyed it. A red color, that’s what she dyed it. They would recognize her by her hair color too. Her staff — they would unfortunately recognize her by the staff. After her adoptive parents died, she had carried that staff everywhere. It had been like a constant companion to her. Han’s blaster — that would also be recognizable. Finally, she settled on one of the vibroblades she’d recovered on one of her missions. She was better at melee, anyway; she always had been.

She exited the fresher, bumping into Finn, who looked her up and down. “You look nice,” he said.

“Like I’ll be able to blend in?”

“Yeah.” Though Rey could swear there was something else he wanted to say as well.

Rose and Paige emerged from their freshers. Rose had also dyed her hair, a paler color this time, as had Paige. Rose turned to look at Rey. “You look like you’ve gotten ready.”

“I’ve practiced.” Survival, that was the name of the game. That was the name of the practice.

They headed towards the hangar, where Poe had put his hair under a cap. According to him, they were going to the nearest flophouse on Nar Shaddaa, where they could use that as their base.

“Won’t people notice?” Kare, this time.

“Of all the places the First Order will check, they won’t check the flophouses. I doubt they’ll even think of Nar Shaddaa, actually.”

Rey could only hope.

Hyperspace gave her ample time to sleep. It didn’t keep her from having bad dreams, though. In her dreams, she saw herself, as she had before, fighting against a masked figure, one of the Knights of Ren, yanking off the mask —

— only to see her face.


	4. No Matter Where They Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Trigger warning for torture.

Kylo Ren walked the grounds of Dantooine, still ravaged from battle, and it was there that he found one of the landing officials.

“You’ll find little welcome here — ’’ she said, only for Kylo Ren to yank her forward with the Force by the neck with little effort.

Interrogations like this gave him little pleasure, and in the case of things like the interrogation of Poe, some of the worst things that he did. But he would not give up until he got what he needed.

He shifted through memories. Memories of first becoming a landing official while she planned to work on her holonovel, her love of writing that started at an early age —

_No. Don’t think of childhood. The less you think of it, the better._

“Where are they?”

“You lost, you bastard. Get over it.”

She was wrong.

They had lost at Dantooine, but the late Supreme Leader Snoke wouldn’t see it as a defeat as much as an opportunity for victory. They had lost, but they would recover, and Kylo Ren would ask Poe Dameron to rule the galaxy with him.

In his mind, Kylo Ren could see it. Poe Dameron, by his side as his consort, and the both of them guiding the galaxy into the sort of justice and peace that the Jedi Order could never truly offer. He could see it — Rey the scavenger as his apprentice, and Poe Dameron as his consort.

The idea was too wonderful to be real.

Kylo Ren would nonetheless make it a reality.

It was after every memory that he tore it from her mind, Poe Dameron’s location. Someone in the Resistance, someone careless, had talked about heading to Nar Shaddaa. Nar Shaddaa. Of all the places to head...

Kylo Ren retreated from her head, turned and headed back to his shuttle. He turned to his shuttle pilot and said, “Set course for Nar Shaddaa.”

The pilot didn’t question anything. Merely did what Ren said.

It was later, after he’d retired to his bedchambers, that Kylo Ren slept. At first his dreams started off as relatively pleasant ones, of ruling the galaxy with Poe and Rey at his side. As it should be, Kylo thought.

Then the dreams shattered. Poe was calling to him. Skywalker — damn him — was calling to him. His deceased mother was too, everyone was calling to him to turn to the Light. But he couldn’t, it was wrong, and even if he wanted to, it was too late, wasn’t it —

Kylo Ren shot awake, and looked around the room frantically. He was in his own room. He was safe. The ghosts in his head were no more than that — ghosts in his head. He was completely, utterly safe. He took a deep breath, walked over towards his grandfather’s mask, and he couldn’t help but wonder: did his grandfather ever have such nightmares? Of course not. His grandfather was strong. He was weak.

He took a deep breath and spoke.

“Grandfather,” he said. “I’m here. I need you...”

***  
They came up on Nar Shaddaa, and already, Poe was tired. He’d had his share of nightmares last night, mostly involving Kylo Ren, only unmasked this time as Poe begged him to stop what he was doing, and he was relieved to be awake. More than relieved, at least.

Landing on Nar Shaddaa was difficult, of course. Landing there, Poe had to negotiate with the landing person to let them land, and then there was heading out to the flophouses, getting a room for all of them — it was a good thing flophouse rooms were big, at least. All of Nar Shaddaa — it was better than it was before the Jedi Exile Arawn Sinn came to visit and make things right, but Poe couldn’t deny that he wouldn’t exactly make a summer home out of it.

“So we’re all supposed to fit in here?” Kare said. “No offense, Poe, but this isn’t really a suite.”

“It’s not. But I doubt anyone will find us there.”

“Right.” Kare sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

Even getting to sleep was difficult. Poe did his best to fall asleep, of course (and it didn’t help that the people next door seemed to be having a party or something). The noise was bad enough, but his thoughts were worse. The fact they were effectively on the run from Poe’s husband, and in three years, nothing that Poe was doing could change Kylo Ren’s mind. Change Ben’s mind. That was the worst part of all this, or one of the worst — the fact that his feelings regarding Ben weren’t simple. He would have almost preferred simpler, actually.

He scrolled over his datapad, trying to find good holobooks to read. He would prefer not to sleep anyway. To just not sleep anymore, dream anymore, with these thoughts skulking around his head...

Poe ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t take it. Couldn’t bear it. Best he could do was read. Try and wait out the night. Across the room, he heard Jess mutter, “Don’t wanna play sabaac with the wampa...” He smiled, faintly. He envied Jess’ dreams right now.

He took a deep breath and turned on his side, closing his eyes as if that would will him to fall asleep.

It did.

And when Poe awoke minutes later, shouting and waking the others, feeling like he couldn’t say anything, he regretted falling asleep.


	5. Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren’s men find the Resistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Hyperspace seemed to take forever, but Kylo Ren didn’t care. He was so close to finding Poe Dameron, to reclaiming him. It was something where he wouldn’t have to interrogate him for the location of a map, or anything like that. He would find Poe, and he would have two choices: destroy him, or have Poe be his, as it was in the days of old before things just went so wrong...

He could only hope that it was the latter. That Poe was effectively his, no matter what it took.

Mine. Such a simple word with so many bits of meaning. Would Poe be his? He had to be. He was effectively, always his.

Snoke had separated them, but now they had the opportunity to reunite.

They were coming up on Nar Shaddaa. And now...now Kylo Ren would have all he ever wanted.

***  
It was after a breakfast full of stares that seemed to Poe patronizingly pitying at best and judgmental at most that Holdo took him aside and said, “Are you all right?”

“Fine.”

“We’re all worried for you. As our leader. And a friend.”

Poe sighed. In that moment, the tension drained away from him and he felt tired. Tired and just plain alone, loving and hating Ben all at once.

“I’m not doing well.”

Holdo looked at him. “How long have you been having those nightmares?”

“Since the Finalizer,” Poe said.

“You’ve been having them that long and you haven’t told anyone?”

Poe wished that he could refute her. In the end, he merely nodded.

“See someone. That’s what I recommend. Of course, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to — ’’

“When this is all over, maybe.” Poe said.

He didn’t tell Holdo that he still had mixed feelings, to say the least, about Ben. He didn’t tell her about how the man had been his husband, and Poe had loved him once upon a time.

Ben had been a loving husband, once upon a time. And Poe had known it.

Settling into their flophouse was comforting in its way. Poe supposed that he could get used to it. It could be like home, in a way.

It was while they were shopping for food that they heard the sound of scuffling. Poe rounded the corner —

— only to see stormtroopers roughing up civilians. It was one of those things that made Poe’s heart clench; they had found them.

The stormtroopers turned to look at them, and one of them said, “That’s him. That’s the one. Freeze!”

Poe did. If only to stop an innocent from potentially being killed, he would do just about anything.

The stormtrooper looked at him. “We have orders to escort you to the Supreme Leader.”

Poe took a deep breath. In that moment, he saw a potential future playing out before his eyes. Ben, turning back to the Light. Maybe there wouldn’t be a happily ever after after everything that happened, but by the stars, he had to try.

“Lead on then,” he said.

Rey looked at him in astonishment, and Holdo looked doubtful. But Poe knew that it was the best chance not to get anyone killed.

The stormtrooper nodded. “Follow me.”


	6. Prisoners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and co. are captured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Trigger earning for inferences of...really dark things. They don’t happen, but they’re there nonetheless.

The shuttle ride seemed to take too long. A seemingly endless, ponderous ride in a ship staffed by the troopers who hadn’t rebelled. Holdo looked at Poe, almost as if still questioning whether or not his decision had been a good one. She was worried, and Poe couldn’t say that he blamed her.

As far as he knew, there were many things that Kylo Ren could do to them. Imprison them. Execute them. Just to name two. And Poe didn’t want to think of his fellow Resistance members, the people he was leading, falling victim to that fate.

Even that was too much to bear.

The shuttle touched down, and Poe knew that they had reached the Finalizer. The stormtroopers escorted them down the halls towards the throne room, where Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, sat, dressed in black.

Poe took in his husband unmasked for the first time in a long while. He had only seen him from a distance when he’d confronted him on Crait, but now he got to see him fully. The scar that ran down his face, a thin mostly faded line. Just a testament to that day on Starkiller Base. His eyes, too expressive as always — wide brown eyes. The locks of black hair that fell around his face. The freckles that dotted his face like stars.

His lips, which parted and moved a bit looking over Poe. Taking him in, every part of him, and Poe knew that he was looking at him not as a Resistance Leader, but a Husband. He felt in that moment very vulnerable, tempted to touch, but also knowing he couldn’t. Not without getting burned.

Finally, Kylo spoke. “General Dameron.” There was something about the way he said those words that was overwhelmingly sweet. He had such a musical voice under the mask. “It’s been some time.” And there was something soft in it.

“Yeah.”

Kylo looked him up and down again, before speaking. “For nine years you’ve evaded justice. I’m here to give all of you the punishment you deserve. General Dameron...you will come with me. The rest...” Kylo turned to one of his Knights. “Lock them up.”

“Wait!” Poe didn’t know what he was thinking. Could he negotiate? Persuade him even a little? He just needed to keep them from being locked up.

Rey mouthed, “Don’t worry” to him, and Poe nodded before turning towards Kylo. “Where to?”

They headed down the hallway towards...a bedchamber? Already, Poe’s stomach clenched with dread.

Kylo looked at him, and Poe could swear that there was genuine confusion and anger there. “You seem to like thinking the worst of me.”

“I...” Poe trailed off. Would Kylo? Would Ben?

“I prefer you willing.”

“You’ll have to wait a long time.”

The bedchamber was lush, rich, and honestly, Poe thought, pretty gorgeous. It was the sort of bedchamber that would be fit for a king. In a way, Kylo was a king. King of the First Order. The bed was especially lush, silk-sheeted, and generally...nice, for lack of a better word.

“If you had gone with me,” Kylo said. “This would have been our bed.”

Poe could imagine. And yet the very idea of going with the First Order...he couldn’t help but shudder. To think that in some alternate timeline he could have gone along with what the First Order was doing...

“Would it have been that bad?”

“Get out of my head.”

Kylo tilted his head. “You’re broadcasting incredibly loudly. It’s hardly my fault.”

“What about what you did to me?”

Silence. Then Kylo said, “It gave me no pleasure to do it.”

“You could have said no.”

“Could I?”

“You could have. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t get to sleep after what you did to me. I...”

_I hate the fact that I love you._

Poe didn’t say it aloud. Kylo Ren didn’t say anything. It was something that hung in the air between them unsaid, unspoken.

“Good night,” Poe said, and as they got into bed and slept, Poe was all but drawn into the crook of Kylo Ren’s body. And in the process there was something about it that was almost comforting in a strange way, almost like the days of old before things had gone incredibly wrong even as Poe drifted into an uneasy sleep.


	7. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo tried to persuade Poe over to his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

There was no morning light in space, but Poe woke up on his own. He stirred, looked around — Kylo Ren was still asleep, and Poe’s blood ran suddenly cold. A sight that would have left him looking on the man lovingly in the past only reminded him that yes, he was in the monster’s bed. The monster had one arm around him, and Poe could only watch as he moved restlessly in his sleep, murmuring something that sounded rather vague at the moment.

It was enough to make the bitter reality sink in. He was effectively Ren’s prisoner again; he’d just traded out a torture chair and shackles for a comfortable bed and an embrace that should have been warm, but instead was just unsettling. Poe lay there, trying to at least comprehend what he had done.

He’d willingly surrendered himself to the enemy. Now the Resistance was effectively captured because of him. He could have negotiated, he could have —

He sighed in frustration. How could he have been so stupid?

Kylo Ren stirred, and looked up at Poe. In the past, those brown eyes were gentle, loving — there were traces of that even as Kylo looked at Poe, but Poe knew that they were twisted somehow. They were twisted, and they were tainted, a mixture of the man he’d loved and the man he hated.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Morning,” Poe said reluctantly. It was strange, it was bizarre, saying “good morning” to, essentially, the man he loved and hated in equal measure. The man who had tortured him. The man who had slaughtered a whole village just because Poe happened to be there. The man who had done so much evil, and yet who Poe wondered if it was possible, possible at all actually, to save him from himself.

It was a ridiculous idea. And yet Poe wondered, Poe hoped...

“Did you sleep well?”

“Well as I could,” Poe said, wryly. Considering how he had essentially shared a bed with the same monster who had done so much evil, the monster bearing his husband’s face...

“I see.” A head tilt. “You find me...repulsive.”

“I find you a sick person.”

“So I’ve been told.” Ren said.

Ren ordered food over the comm for the both of them. Something relatively meager for Ren, something more lavish sounding for Poe. Poe couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the choices.

“Are you all right?” he said to Ren despite himself.

“Yes.”

It was one of those moments where Poe couldn’t help but notice that Ren looked thinner than when he last saw him. He looked thin and pale, and almost like he’d...

But he wouldn’t, would he?

“I have something else for you.”

It was on the bed that Poe saw them. The clothes. The silky fabrics, the rich colors...they were definitely not the sort of clothes that people in the Resistance would wear. They were the sorts of clothes that a prince would wear, or a king. He supposed that in a way, Kylo Ren had been a prince, and now he was a king of sorts. A king of the First Order.

“You want me to wear these?” he said.

Kylo Ren raised his eyebrows, almost as if saying that Poe’s question was a ridiculous one. Of course he wanted Poe to wear these things. These strange, fancy things.

Poe narrowed his eyes. “You’re _joking_ , right?”

“They’re gifts,” Kylo Ren said. “For you.”

Poe couldn’t say he knew how to feel about all of this. Any of this. What in the name of the stars was Kylo Ren trying to pull?

“You tortured me.” Poe said.

“That was on Snoke’s orders. And Hux’s demands. But they’re not here. Get dressed.”

Poe supposed that he didn’t want to look like he’d just rolled out of bed. He supposed. The idea was repulsive, but...

He used the fresher to dress. The clothes were soft against his skin, and the colors looked nice, but Poe couldn’t shake the idea of this being a strange game of dress-up. He and Ben had done things like that before, and he couldn’t help but think this was some bizarre reprise of it. At least he looked the part of Resistance Leader — if the part of Resistance Leader was also a euphemism for prisoner-having-to-participate-in-some-strange-game-of-dress-up.

He emerged, and Kylo looked over him, his eyes appreciative. “Better,” he said. “At least better than some of those ridiculous Resistance uniforms you had.”

They were more comfortable than Resistance uniforms, Poe wasn’t going to lie. “What do you want, Kylo?”

“I want you to rule with me.”

“What?”

“I think it’s time that I explained everything,” Kylo Ren said. “Sit down.”

Poe did so, already feeling, deep in his bones, almost like there was no turning back.

Kylo Ren took a deep breath. “The night I destroyed the Temple, Snoke forbid me from telling you anything. If I had been Supreme Leader, I would have taken you with me. You would have wanted for nothing.”

“You think I would have gone?”

“I would have hoped. It would be better than being in the Resistance, don’t you think? General Organa cared nothing for you.”

“It wasn’t like that at all.”

“She cared nothing for both of us. I wonder who she would have tried to replace us with? Snap Wexley? Jessika Pava? Kare Kun? Even the scavenger or FN-2187? Truly the choices are endless. If either of us were less than perfect, she would have had no more regard for us than garbage. Maybe less than that.”

Poe swallowed. Was Kylo right? Were they less than garbage? “She was your mother.”

“And that makes everything better,” Kylo said sarcastically. “She wanted you to fill in as what I should have been. Or what she thinks I should have been.” A beat. “Then again, I suppose I can’t say I blame her. Ben Solo always was a disgusting little thing — ’’

“Do you even hear yourself when you talk?”

“I thought that was obvious — ’’

“No. Really.” Poe swallowed. “Do you hear yourself when you talk? Really hear yourself? Do you know who you sound like?”

“Tell me.”

“You...don’t sound like Ben. And Ben wasn’t who you think he was.”

I knew you. I loved you. Still do, stars willing.

Kylo Ren actually looked struck by this. Poe couldn’t help but wonder — was he doubting? Was he ever doubting that Poe loved him?

Of course, Poe’s definition of love was definitely getting more and more complicated right now.

The droids brought up the food, and Poe couldn’t help but notice that his plate was more lavish than Ren’s, which was simpler. Poe’s own plate was practically decadent, covered in syrup and rich fruit. Poe’s stomach couldn’t help but rumble in anticipation; he hadn’t had food like this in the Resistance. He was used to being on the run and fighting and everything else, but certainly not this. Food. Actual food. He sat down, his jaws aching, his head spinning, his stomach gnawing at itself, like every time he had experienced hunger was coming back to him tenfold. He took a piece of fruit and nibbled at it, taking in the rich juices, the sweet taste.

Berries. Even taking in the berries, Poe couldn’t help but think this is good, this is really good. He ate hesitantly, then more quickly, ate until he could eat no more, and even that warm, stuffed feeling in his belly felt, despite himself, good. The plate had been all but scraped clean. And he wondered if that was the life that Ren was offering him — no more running. No more fighting. Maybe someone else would have taken it.

Poe doubted he could. If he could save Kylo Ren, however...

For that, he’d do anything.


	8. Convictions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey plans, and Kylo continues to try and persuade Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Got the ysalamiri from the old EU.

It was only a day here so far. Rey had already scratched a mark on the walls that said as much. It was an old habit from Jakku — keeping track of when her family would return.

Now, she was keeping track of how long before she could get out of here.

Kylo Ren had apparently learned his lesson about leaving her with guards; Rey was all but surrounded by strange creatures — ysalamiri, they were apparently called — and her ability to feel the Force was, to say the least, limited. She could get rid of the creatures, let them crawl away, but the question was how to distract her guard.

The guard stood there, a Knight of Ren with another Knight of Ren. Even the idea of speaking to them was repulsive. They were just like their master; they were sick, twisted beings.

It didn’t matter. Rey would find a way out. She always did. Back on Jakku, she’d been into survival, and she would find a way out even here.

***

Poe was led up to the bridge that day, past the now-Captain Mitaka, past a woman with black hair in a bun that Poe could only assume was taking the place of General Hux, past the others who seemed to be staring at him in disbelief. Wondering what Ren wanted with the leader of the Resistance, no doubt. What he saw in that man.

Poe wished that Ren hadn’t seen anything at all.

Kylo Ren’s hand brushed over his shoulders in that moment, and that was the closest thing to a touch that Poe could honestly get. He had missed things like that, the matter of Ben’s touch, which was so very gentle, as if Poe would break. Back then, he’d found it exasperating, touching and funny all in one — after all, he was far from delicate. He was short, yes, and not as muscular as Ben (then again, Ben was generally big), but it didn’t mean that he was fragile. And yet it seemed that Ben thought of him as delicate.

He hadn’t considered that when he was torturing Poe. And Poe couldn’t help but tense at the memory. Even the idea that Ren had hated doing it was hardly a comfort.

They stopped at a window where the stars had a good view, and outside, Poe couldn’t help but feel like he was looking over some sort of kingdom. A king and his possible consort? Kylo was a king of sorts, and Poe was married to him. There was that.

Kylo gestured towards the stars. “This is my domain, General Dameron. All these stars, all these planets...you know that I would give them to you in a heartbeat.”

“I don’t...” Poe swallowed. “I don’t want to rule the galaxy. I want to save it.”

“Is that what General Organa taught you, or — ’’

“It’s what I know and what I believe. And a long time ago, you used to believe it too, didn’t you? You wanted to save the galaxy.” Poe kept his voice soft all the while. “You wanted to do the right thing.”

“Ben Solo is — ’’

“Not dead.” Poe looked up at him. “He can’t be dead. And even if he was, I don’t want to forget him.”

He didn’t want to forget any of it, actually. He didn’t want to forget about the first time they’d met, all those times racing ships across Yavin. He didn’t want to forget the first time that Ben said that he loved him. He didn’t want to forget any of it, even though dear stars, Kylo Ren seemed determined to forget it.

Forgetting hurt. Forgetting was pretending a part of you was dead, just for the sake of convenience. Maybe to kill the pain.

“I love you,” Poe said. “And I know that Ben Solo’s still alive. And I’m not giving up until he comes home with me.”

Silence. Then Kylo Ren said, softly, “It’s too late.”

“Your grandfather did terrible things and your uncle never stopped trying with him.”

“That was a mistake.”

“Why?”

“Because my uncle was trying to trick him.”

“Did Snoke tell you that?”

“I...”

“He did, didn’t he? I have to wonder, Ben, what about what you think?”

Silence fell before Ren spoke again.

“Why are you doing this? I invaded your mind.”

“I know you did,” Poe said. “And I don’t forgive you that. But I still...I still love you. I still remember who you were.” He reached up to touch Kylo Ren’s face. “I love you, Ben.”

“I know. But you can’t save me.”

Even as they returned to their bedchamber, Poe found that he couldn’t give up. He should have given up by now. He should have stopped by now. But to save Ben...

To save Ben, he would do just about anything.

They slept in the same position, Poe in the monster’s bed, the monster’s muscular arm wrapped around him in a gesture of what Poe supposed was affection. They drifted off to sleep, and Poe knew that all he had was hope — for the Resistance, for the both of them. 


	9. The Beast’s Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe learns something surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

So this was Poe’s life right now. The monster — and being in the monster’s bed. This was his life. Rey was already working on some sort of plan, Poe had a feeling (if her telling him not to worry was any indication), but even so, it wasn’t exactly reassuring.

It was only the next day, and Poe woke, once more in the monster’s bed. The beast was asleep, but that wasn’t reassuring. There was something about him that looked almost innocent in sleep, his thick black hair falling around his face, half a smile on his lips, sprawled out on the bed like some great cat, but that wasn’t reassuring. The monster had an arm around Poe, and there was something about it that felt almost like Poe was in some sort of possessive grip.

Ben’s embraces in the past had ranged from gentle, like he was afraid of breaking Poe, to almost crushing, but none of them had been possessive. Even as Kylo Ren stirred

_the beast waking from his slumber_

Poe was relieved. At least the grip had loosened, for the moment.

It was over breakfast that Poe spoke. “I want you to free my friends.”

“They’re your friends?” Kylo said, skeptically. Poe might as well have said they were purple banthas, the way that Kylo looked at him.

“Yes.”

“You haven’t been treated well in the Resistance.”

“That’s not true.”

“What about General Organa?” Kylo said. “She didn’t treat you well.”

Poe couldn’t deny it. General Organa had been...complicated at the best of times. But she had done the best she could.

“It’s not what you think.” A pause. “And get out of my head.”

Kylo Ren looked away. Then, “You broadcast loudly.”

“You could at least pretend you’re not listening.”

“It’s not possible.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Fall. You didn’t have to do...any of it.”

Kylo Ren went quiet. Then, “The galaxy was out of balance. That’s what Snoke wanted to do — balance it again. That’s what I wanted to do. And because I never belonged in the Order.”

“You could have gone away with me.”

“Where would we have gone?”

“Anywhere,” Poe said.

“Anywhere.” Kylo seemed to be thinking about it. “You really, truly believe it, don’t you?”  
  
“It’s not too late.”

“It is.” And Poe could swear that something in Kylo’s voice wavered even as he spoke.

Poe’s chest clenched. “Ben — ’’

“That’s not my name.”

“Fine,” Poe said, “Kylo. At least stop...any of this.”

“It’s too late.”

“Then at least...” Poe said. “Send the stormtroopers home. Stop using them. Stop giving them designations instead of names. Stop kidnapping children.”

“I haven’t been using children for quite some time.”

Poe stared at him in disbelief. “What?”

“It was General Hux’s idea to use children. He oversaw it, he and Phasma both. I...would have preferred a clone army myself.”

“Because that would have been so much better,” Poe said sarcastically.

Kylo continued. “If you don’t believe me, I can show you. Follow me.”

Poe did. 


	10. Last Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren learns something surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The stormtroopers marched in perfect formation down the hallway, and Poe’s stomach clenched even as he watched. Maybe they weren’t using children this time around, but they were still using troopers. Poe didn’t know where Kylo got them from, but he knew that it wasn’t right. Not in the slightest.

“Are they — ’’

“Conscripts,” Kylo said. “I needed an army. This seemed like the best way to do it.”

“How do you know you need an army?” Poe said.

“It’s necessary,” Kylo said. “What do you fight a war with if not an army?”

Poe looked up at him. “What if you didn’t have to fight a war at all?”

“I can’t. If not for my — for General Organa — ’’

“She did what she thought was right.”

“What she thought was right,” Kylo said, almost mockingly. “She did what would satisfy her own ego and her own self-righteous desires, but certainly not what was right.”

“Do you really think so little of her?”

“Snoke told me enough.”

“I don’t give a stang what Snoke thinks. What do you think?”

Kylo looked like he hadn’t really thought about this. Score one for Poe Dameron. Then he said, “I’m coming to terms with the fact she never loved me.”

“Never?” Poe felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

“Never.”

“She loved you,” Poe said. “She said that when she was dying. And she said...”

“What did she say?” Kylo didn’t sound frantic, but he sounded curious. That was a start.

“She was sorry.”

Kylo actually looked like he hadn’t expected that.

“She loved you,” Poe said. “I know she did.”

Slowly, Kylo said, “You...are not lying.”

“I wouldn’t really have anything to gain by lying.”

“I believe you.” Kylo took a deep breath. “But I’m not going back to the Resistance with you. It’s too late for me.”

“It isn’t. Just...”

“Just what?”

“Make the right choice.”

And in his heart, Poe could only hope that Kylo Ren would do this.


	11. Favorite, Unfavorite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo comes to grips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was in the training room that Kylo Ren was trying to come to grips with what Poe had said earlier.

_She loved you._

_She said she was sorry._

Even taking it all in, Kylo Ren couldn’t believe it. He had been used to the mother who was complicated at best, loveless at worst. The mother who thought there was too much Vader in him. The mother who thought that even a simple argument meant that he was falling to the Dark Side.

And she’d said that she was sorry...

Kylo Ren took a deep breath. He looked around the room. Already, he was itching to at least find something to destroy or break. The lightsaber trembled in his hand.

It ignited, and Kylo lashed out at the first thing in sight. Then the second. He slashed and hacked, quiet all the while, until finally, the room was in ruins.

It was one of those moments where, after the tantrum, Kylo Ren had to step back and examine what he’d done. The slashes. The gashes that his lightsaber had left, borderline flaming in nature.

He hadn’t had one of those tantrums around Poe when they first got into a relationship, or even during their friendship. Even as he picked up the remains of what he’d slashed, the anger was cooling, and he was looking over his handiwork. The usual handiwork.

Even as he threw away the ruins of what he’d destroyed, he heard footsteps. Tentative footsteps. It was Poe.

He turned to look at Poe, who actually looked startled. Worried. Something that Kylo couldn’t say that he had seen in quite some time.

He put his deactivated lightsaber back in his belt. “I don’t want your pity.” He was so still he could swear that he’d start shaking.

“How long have you been doing this?”

“It’s not important.”

“You’re destroying things,” Poe said. “Of course it’s relevant.”

Kylo took a deep breath. “Then it is,” he said, “None of your concern.”

“Is that what you always do? When things go bad?” Poe stepped into the room. “Is that what you do? Destroy things?”

“What business is it of yours?”

“Do you just want to scare the daylights out of people?”

“And here we go,” Kylo said scathingly. “The favorite son of General Organa, casting judgment on those who aren’t him — ’’

“So that’s what this is about.” Poe sighed. “I don’t know what was going on in the General’s head, but I didn’t want to replace you. I wanted you home.”

Home.

“I believe you.” Kylo said, softly. Almost like he was still trying to take it in himself.

They were close now. Their lips were too close...

Kylo kissed him as angrily as he had destroyed the room, and that sweetness of Poe’s lips was so lush and soft, and he couldn’t help but claim it. His lips ravaged, searching frantically for the taste, and his fingers tangled in Poe’s thick hair. Poe kissed him back, kissed him like he was terrified of losing him. When they broke away, Kylo’s lips were swollen and his body was all but screaming in delight. He touched his lips, touched Poe’s, laid a hand over Poe’s chest to feel his beating heart.

“Go home with me,” Poe said.

“You know as well as I do I can’t be saved.”

“Your grandfather was,” Poe said. “Why not you?”

“What would saving mean in any case? Prison? Being cut off from the Force? Execution?”

Poe flinched. He clearly hadn’t considered that.

“The galaxy wants my blood,” Kylo said. “Do you think that they can all put that aside because of one selfless act? The galaxy is bloodthirsty by nature, Poe.”

“They’re not just bloodthirsty. They lost people they loved.”

“Do you know how many people I’ve killed? Countless. Redemption doesn’t come easily to people like me.”

“You don’t know that.”

And there was Poe. Gentle, not necessarily forgiving, but remembering and still having faith in Ben Solo. Even after all this time.

Even after what Kylo had done to him, and Kylo couldn’t bear it,

He didn’t deserve...he couldn’t possibly deserve...

Come away with me. Come home.

He kissed Poe again, sweeter, gentler this time, like Ben Solo would kiss, like Poe would break if he wasn’t careful. When he broke away, their breaths mingled, their heads pressing gently together.

“I could do so much for you,” Kylo said. “Show off the galaxy to you. Pluck the stars from the sky and show them to you.”

“I know,” Poe said. “I just have one question.”

“Yes?”

“When are you going to free Finn?”


	12. Promise of Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe makes a critical decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Even the idea was inconceivable. Free FN-2187? (Kylo couldn’t bring himself to call him Finn. It seemed odd, almost like a bizarre nickname. Of course Poe would come up with it; it seemed like something his husband would do) He couldn’t do that. Freeing FN-2187 was too dangerous. He was a member of the Resistance, and freeing him would be too dangerous.

“Free...FN-2187?”

“His name’s Finn.” Poe said. There was a set to his jaw all the while.

“Really?”

“Really. His name’s Finn. At least treat him with some respect.”

“Either way, you really think that I would let someone as dangerous as him go?”

“You don’t take children from their families anymore. At least let Finn go.”

“He’s a traitor.”

“It’s not treason if he never had a choice to begin with.”

“He still betrayed the First Order.” And even that, Kylo reflected, was almost inconceivable. How could someone even remotely think about things such as this?

“He was kidnapped.”

“And the Jedi are different, somehow?” Kylo could still remember what Snoke had told him, about how the Jedi had taken children from their parents, children who couldn’t even walk and talk. Probably so they could instill their values more easily on them. Probably so they could see things as a blank slate. Probably so they could meld them in their image.

How was one celebrated and the other condemned?

“Your uncle didn’t do that.”

“But the old Jedi Order did.” Kylo said. “Does that count?”

Silence. Then, “That’s wrong too.”

“The point is,” Kylo said, “I won’t be releasing any of my prisoners. Not once, not ever.”

He could have sworn that something changed in Poe’s eyes. Something he couldn’t quite place, but he already had a feeling that it wasn’t a good sign.

***

It was night when Poe snuck out of the monster’s bed.

It was just a matter of not waking the monster. Keeping quiet. Poe knew it was risky, but it wasn’t like he had any other choice. It wasn’t like he was afraid. He would do this. If he could steal a TIE fighter, he could do anything.

The monster was asleep. He seemed to shift a little when Poe moved, before turning onto his side. He looked so innocent in that moment, almost like Ben Solo again, and Poe watched him, longing for him all the while. He couldn’t stay long, though. His friends needed him. And they could all punch him out for this later, but he had to get this done.

Poe took a deep breath and headed down to the prison block.


	13. Escape Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Poe’s plan goes pear-shaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ducking down through the hallways was difficult. Just a matter of holding your breath, pressing yourself against a wall so hard that you feared irrationally that you’d go flat, waiting for voices to pass, waiting for guards to go to bed. Poe preferred not to have any casualties; he’d do what he could to defend himself, but he didn’t want things to get too messy, actually.

He headed down the hallway towards the prison block. The terminal was right there. He fiddled with the controls in that moment, unlocked the prison cells. The others practically ran to him in that moment, sharing stories about what they had endured, asking him how he was, if Kylo Ren had done anything to hurt him.

Kylo hadn’t. Not physically, at least. He was pretty adept, however, at breaking Poe’s heart.

Footsteps interrupted their moment. Poe already knew that someone was coming, at least.

“Go!” he said. “Quick. Whoever it is, I’ll hold them off.”

Holdo nodded. “We’ll come back for you,” she said. “And I’ll take care of them.”

“I know,” Poe said.

The footsteps were only getting louder, closer. Poe spun around, and his blood ran cold.

There, behind him, was Kylo Ren. His escape plan hadn’t gone as well as he had hoped. Poe prepared to draw his blaster, but Kylo Ren didn’t draw his lightsaber. Indeed, he kept it at his side, deactivated. On his face, though, was such a look of anger that it was almost thunderous.

“So, Poe,” Kylo said, “You thought you could betray me?”


	14. Dead Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Poe fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

They were back in Kylo Ren’s quarters, and Poe craned his neck up to look at Kylo, already knowing that the Supreme Leader was angry, but refusing to cave to him. To his credit, Kylo hadn’t gotten intimidating yet, not really. Back when he was Ben Solo, he had been gentle and loving towards Poe. Poe wondered if there was at least a sliver of that shining through, at least now.

“How dare you?” Kylo’s voice was so full of emotion, so full of fury that it seemed to shake.

“I had to free my friends.”

“You mean, the war criminals you call friends?”

“What?” Poe supposed that he shouldn’t be surprised. After all, the First Order seemed to operate on the twisted logic that they were right and the Resistance was evil. Everyone had their sick justifications. But even being called war criminals was genuinely sick. “We’re not war criminals.”

“Look at what you’ve done. How is that not the act of a war criminal? Any of it?”

“What about you?”

“What we do is always right. What I do is always right.”

“Is that how you justify any of this?” Poe said. “What you did to that village on Tuanul? What you did to so may people? You’re just always right? You’re not right. None of what you’re doing is right.” A beat. “And if you couldn’t make the first move to end the war, so help me, I would.”

“It’s more than this, isn’t it?” Kylo Ren looked at him, his eyes practically blazing in that moment. “You think you’re just too good for sharing my bed. I gave you everything that you should have had — and you reject it.” He gestured broadly with one hand. “You think you’re too perfect. Behold, Poe Dameron, arbiter of all that’s right in this galaxy.”

“How was I supposed to be happy when my friends were likely being tortured?” Poe said. “And how could I be happy as your prisoner?”

“I’m the man who loves you,” Kylo said, and an angry edge was entering his voice.

“I don’t know what you’re offering me, but it’s not love.” Poe took a deep breath. It hurt, but it was true. Ben’s definition of love had been purity, sweetness, tenderness, gentle touches and gentle words. Kylo Ren’s was twisted. And Poe still loved him more than anyone could know, but this man’s love wasn’t love. “I don’t want it,” Poe said.

Kylo’s face became practically thunderous. “I should have known,” he said. “It’s not enough for you, is it?”

“Ben — ’’

“That’s who you want, isn’t it? Ben. A dead man. Ben Solo is dead and he deserves to be dead.”

Poe’s heart sank. “That isn’t true.”

“He is. He’s not coming back. Don’t you even think that a dead man can come back to life.”

The night they spent together was full of the sort of icy silence that Poe hated. They were prisoner and guard in the same room, the sort of icy silence that seemed to surround them. It was just more proof that this wasn’t Ben; this was some monster taking his place. And yet...

Could Ben be gone? Poe hoped not, at least. The very idea of his husband being gone was unbearable, unthinkable.

Even climbing into bed, Kylo turned away from him.

“What are you doing?”

“You think you’re too good for sharing my bed. Too righteous. Too pure. Too pure for me to touch you.”

“I...” Poe didn’t know what he was going to say, actually.

“And yet you lead me on. You promise me your love, then you withdraw it.”

“I never did that.”

“So you say.”

Even sleeping in the same bed as the monster, Poe couldn’t help but feel a terrible loss. This was the first time in their marriage (their terribly kriffed up marriage, he thought bitterly) that Ben hadn’t touched him — no, that Kylo hadn’t touched him. He could remember times when Ben would even so much as trail fingers over his skin, writing patterns with his fingertips.

He sighed. _He’s being a child._ Of course he was being a child. It was basically throwing a tantrum, except instead of things actually physically breaking or being destroyed, Poe was basically being given the martyr treatment, never mind everything that Kylo had done. Kylo, acting like he had been nothing but a saint, all while there were enough atrocities he’d done to fill a history holobook.

If historians were to look back at this — assuming there was an after — they’d see it as a particularly destructive marital spat. To say the least.

Kylo Ren was curled up on the other side of the bed. Tentatively, Poe reached out to him, tried to touch him, not to apologize but at least to make peace, only for Kylo to curl up deeper into his little ball. “Leave me be.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“If I’m not worthy to touch you, then I’m not worthy to be touched by you either.”

“And like I said, you’re being ridiculous.”

“Even if I was worthy,” Kylo said, a hint of petulance in his voice that was enough to cause a prickle of irritation in Poe, “I don’t want you to touch me.”

Poe withdrew his hand. “ _Fine_.”

The monster curled up on the other side of the bed, and Poe lay awake, suddenly unsettled without the monster’s embrace even though he shouldn’t be. He missed it too keenly, and somehow...

Poe sighed before settling beneath the covers, trying vainly to get to sleep. 


	15. Dirty Little War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo’s meeting goes awry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Special thanks to Bruce Springsteen’s One Step Up for the chapter title.

Kylo Ren was used to the loneliness when he woke up, but it was definitely different when someone was in your bed and you still felt lonely. Poe was breathing steadily next to him, and as Kylo turned over, he could see a bit of a frown on Poe’s lips.

He was used to being lonely. Just not with the same being in his bed.

And all the while, even as they got up, Kylo could still feel the loneliness, the anger, all too well, and he hated Poe.

Damn him. Damn his moods for changing like the sea, teasing Kylo with affection and withholding it the next. He was a wretched, wretched tease, and Kylo hated him. Hated him so much that he swore that he felt sick. And at the same time, he couldn’t help but adore him. Poe was a monster, an angel, and all of it couldn’t reconcile, because it hurt.

Kylo used the fresher to change his clothes. He could imagine that in the next room, Poe was changing into his clothes, the clothes that Kylo had given him because somehow Poe deserved better than those ghastly Resistance uniforms. He deserved to be treated like a consort to a king, and still he seemed to act like Kylo’s touch was something repulsive.

Kylo realized he’d been clenching his fists so hard they hurt. He ached to find something to at least break, snap in half — in the absence of his lightsaber, his bare hands would have to do...

Kylo raised his fist towards the mirror, about to at least punch that —

— and then he lowered his fist, breathing heavily.

No. I can’t do that. I love him, even now. Dark Siders had no afterlife, but even after Kylo Ren passed into oblivion, he had a feeling that he would love Poe Dameron.

Yes. He loved him. He would always love him.

Breakfast was cold and curt. At least Poe looked better nourished than he had when he had first been captured. He looked healthier, and Kylo couldn’t help but take pride in that.

Kylo, meanwhile; had something more simplistic. It was a study in contrast, their meals. Poe’s more lavish, Kylo’s more simplistic. It was enough, Kylo thought as Poe picked at his food, to make his jaws ache and his mouth water. He forced his attention to go back to his rather bland-tasting meal. Forced himself to eat, looking up at Poe and hating and desiring him all in one.

The meeting with his men went as usual, until Poe spoke up. “You ever consider just not killing people?” he said.

Kylo had hoped that Poe would be quiet. Then again, that hope was doomed to failure from the start. Poe was not one to stay quiet when he saw something going on. Dopheld Mitaka shifted uncomfortably, and General Maira looked sharply at Kylo. The quiet remark she seemed to have was, You could keep your prisoner quiet.

Poe continued. “Maybe it doesn’t have to happen. Maybe you can stop. Right here. Right now. At least, spare this one.”

And Kylo could only watch him, feeling almost about to explode with fury, hating this man more than he could have thought possible.   
***

By the time that they got out of the meeting, Kylo Ren was already walking ahead of Poe in long, hurried strides. It didn’t take a Force Sensitive or a telepath to know that he was angry; his body was so tense that it seemed to shake, and his face was practically stormy.

“Would it kill you to slow down?” Poe had to practically run to keep up with Kylo Ren’s long strides.

Kylo Ren spun around, and there was fury in his eyes.

“How dare you?”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“You should not have humiliated me in front of my men.”

“Me?” Poe couldn’t help but laugh. “You think that trying to rein in your homicidal tendencies is humiliating you? No wonder you’re going downhill.”

“You humiliated me.” Kylo glared at him even as he said it. “Is it not enough to deprive me of your love? Now you have to humiliate me?”

“I’m not depriving you.”

“I’d give you everything. You’d want for nothing.”

“I don’t want...’everything’.”

“Then you are a fool.”

“I don’t need ‘everything’. And neither do you.”

Kylo Ren looked at him with such astonishment, such disgust, that Poe wondered if it was going to explode.

“I would love you more than anyone in the galaxy, perhaps beyond oblivion, and you reject it.”

Even that night, getting to sleep wasn’t easy. Just another battle in this verbal war. He’d have to get out of here, and soon.

Question was how he’d even begin to get out.


	16. Success

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe escapes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Sorry this is so late! Writer’s block happened. And this chapter is pretty short. Hopefully no one minds.

It was night when Poe made his escape.

Poe already couldn’t help but feel a twinge of regret. Just at the idea that it had to come to this. That he and Ben had to come to this. He and Ben had loved each other once, and he knew it.

He looked over Kylo Ren’s face, something that looked so beautiful, so peaceful, in that moment, such a contrast from his waking moments. Half a smile was on his lips, and Poe smoothed back locks of black hair. He couldn’t help but think about what could have been. If they were in the Resistance together instead.

“I have to go,” he said, softly. Lightly, he pressed his lips against Ben’s forehead, before heading out of the room. Maybe there would be a way to help Ben. Making a deal with the Force, as it was.

Heading out wasn’t easy. There were plenty of guards in the way. Poe managed to blast them down, something that seemed almost routine now. It was awful, but to defend yourself, you’d do what you could...

Finally, he saw it. Ahead. A shuttle. Poe didn’t walk, he ran. And stepping out of the shuttle was Holdo herself.

“Poe!” she said, and in spite of themselves, they hugged. Poe drew away.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes, Admiral,” he said. “You really are.”

“As are you.” Holdo looked at him. “Did Kylo Ren hurt you?”

“No.” He broke my heart, though. Does that count? “He didn’t even ask me questions. I’ll tell you more, Admiral; I just need to get out of here.”

“Without a doubt,” Holdo said. “Let us go.”

And even boarding the shuttle, Poe couldn’t help but feel at least a twinge of grief. It was Snoke’s fault, all of it. He did this. It only made him all the more glad that Rey had killed him.

They headed off, and Poe had a feeling that they would be leaving this place behind for good.


	17. Debriefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Poe come down from the events of the previous chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“He escaped?”

That was what Maira said. They were in the meeting room, and Kylo Ren was dealing with the consequences of what had happened. Poe Dameron was gone. Baiting him with affection, and then running away.

Damn him. How Kylo loved him, and how Poe yanked that away from him.

Kylo took a deep breath. “And we’ll be searching for him,” he said.

“I can hope,” said Maira, and irritation prickled up Kylo’s spine. She wasn’t as bad as the now imprisoned General Hux, but she was still profoundly irritating.

It was after the meeting that Kylo Ren retreated to his room, lying on his stomach on the bed. He took Poe’s pillow, inhaled the scent left behind like it was the air that he would kill to breathe.

Damn him. Damn him...

He could have practically found something to break or to slash, but right now, he wasn’t even angry as much as grieving — and determined, more than ever, to get Poe back.

Poe would come back to him. And he would love him again — as he used to. Stars willing.

***  
Even telling the whole story, Poe couldn’t help but feel exhausted. Stars willing he was exhausted. Nonetheless he told everyone everything.

“So he wanted you to join him?” Holdo said.

Poe nodded. Even thinking about it was enough to hurt.

“I didn’t join him.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Holdo said. “Did he torture you in any way?”

“No.”

Holdo actually looked surprised. “So he wanted you to join him.”

“Yes.” Poe ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “He didn’t even ask me any questions.”

Holdo sighed. “I’m just glad that you’re all right, General Dameron.”

“I am too.” He couldn’t help but wonder, what if Kylo Ren had basically tortured him again? Even the thought...

Even going upstairs, just to breathe for a while, Poe could still remember Ren’s declarations of love, his sheer earnestness in terms of delivering them. And he couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like if he had accepted, if he had —

No. He couldn’t fathom going into the First Order. Even for love. Stars knew he loved and hated Ren with equal amounts of intensity, but he knew that he would never join the First Order.

BB-8 whirled over to him when he got upstairs, and Poe grinned, squatting down to his level. “BB-8, my buddy!” he said. “I’ve missed you.”

BB-8 chirped excitedly. Then, a question. A frantic one. What happened?

Poe faltered. BB-8 dwooed softly, almost like he was regretting asking the question.

“No, buddy, it’s not your fault. I’ve just been through a lot. I saw Ben.”

BB-8 was practically firing questions at him: what happened to Ben, was he tortured, how could he do this, things of that nature.

“I don’t know, buddy. Ben...the real Ben would never do any of this.” Except...would he? He had been so scared when Poe had been poisoned by one of the Knights of Ren that he’d done something he couldn’t even tell Poe...but he’d been scared, hadn’t he?

BB-8 gently butted against Poe’s hand.

“Thanks.” Poe sighed. “I better get to bed.”

Even climbing into bed, Poe couldn’t sleep. Just because he wasn’t in the monster’s bed anymore didn’t mean that he was safe. In a strange way, it felt almost empty. Like Poe was grieving the loss of someone he’d once loved.

Poe slept nonetheless, his dreams full of him reaching for Ben to try and save him, and failing.


	18. Resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe readjusts to life in the Resistance and plans his next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was still a bit odd, being back in the Resistance. Being back in his own bed, for starters.

Okay, saying “a bit odd” was definitely an understatement. After sharing a bed with the monster, sharing a room, feeling the monster’s warm, unwelcome embrace around him, Poe wasn’t used to being back in his own bed. His own room. Safe.

For now. Sooner or later, he’d have to get back into the field.

Right now, he was dealing with the next battle. What to do about Kylo Ren. All the while, the others were all but calling for Ren’s head. Poe couldn’t say that he blamed them. After all, Ren had killed quite a few people. More than a few, including others’ loved ones.

It was still scary seeing people get whipped up into a frenzy, though.

Finally, Poe spoke up, cleared his throat. The others turned to look at him.

“Whatever happens,” he says. “We stick to our principles. It’s more than easy, more than understandable, to feel like you do. But we are fundamentally better than the First Order. We don’t torture. We don’t execute.”

“What about what he did to you?” one of the Resistance council members said. “Have you forgotten?”

Poe took a deep breath, fighting the urge to snap back. “Of course I haven’t,” he said. “You don’t forget things like that easily. But no matter what happens, we stick to our principles. We are not the First Order. We are far better than them.”

“So what do we do?”

“We capture him,” Poe said. “Not kill. Capture. The Resistance doesn’t go vigilante.”

 _And because killing him would be like killing a part of me._ Maybe Poe was selfish. Maybe he was clueless. But he couldn’t kill this part of himself.

“Kill him if you can’t capture him,” he said. “But capturing him is our top priority.”

And that...that was the truth.

The other Resistance council members’ eyes were on Poe. Then, one of them said, “What do we do? Who do we send?”

“I think,” Poe said, “It’s time we brought back the Pathfinders. Everyone can see then what they can do, and we can take down the First Order once and for all.”

The others looked thoughtful. Then Holdo spoke. “A fine idea.”

“No problem.” It would be hard, the whole process of capturing Kylo Ren. But Poe would do whatever it took to end the war.

Whatever it took. He hadn’t thought it would come to this, but there it was.

He could only hope he could end the war, stop the killing, once and for all.


	19. Finalizer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and co. storm Kylo’s flagship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Getting the strike team together was far from easy, but Poe knew that it was more than worth it. The Resistance had trained them pretty well too, and Poe doubted that he could be prouder of them. They’d been trained well, and Poe knew that they were more than strong, that they would do beautifully.

Rey was there, as was Finn, and several others including Rose and Paige. Poe looked at them, hoping at least that they would be safe. Being a leader meant making the hard decisions, that was true enough. But it didn’t mean that Poe Dameron wasn’t also scared for them.

Even outlining the mission, he couldn’t help but feel a flicker of fear regarding Kylo Ren too. The idea of him dying...maybe it was inevitable. But it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. It didn’t mean that Poe didn’t feel at least a part of him tensing in anxiety at the very thought.

If it were a stranger, Poe doubted he would have cared. If it was someone you both loved and hated...that was completely different, and Poe knew it.

Still, he hid his emotions. “All right, looking good, all of you! Looking tough.”

Rey shot him a smile, and Poe couldn’t help but smile back.

Even saying his goodbyes to them, Poe couldn’t help but feel a sick sort of feeling in his gut. These beings...they weren’t just members of a ragtag group fighting against a symbol of oppression and fear, but family. They were all family. Even as they headed off, Poe couldn’t help but shake the idea that at least for some of them, he would never — but it was just a worry, wasn’t it?

“General?” Holdo said.

Poe turned to look at her and smiled. “Here.”

“They’re strong, General. And we have to be strong too. For all of them.”

***  
The thing about different ships was that they had different ways of moving. Even sitting in the cockpit of the shuttle, Rey couldn’t help but admire the smooth way it moved. Back on Jakku, things had been similar — she’d flown different ships, getting used to every one of the feel of them, their smoothness or lack there-of, their scope, things like that.

“You’re pretty good,” Kare said. “You could definitely be part of a Squadron yourself sometime.”

Rey smiled. “I hope so.” Maybe after the war’s over. After the mission’s over.

Getting on the Finalizer was far from easy. Rey managed to dodge the blasts from the ship, the Force guiding her all the while. That was the thing, just like on Starkiller Base, just like everything else. Just let it in. Open yourself up to it and let it in.

She steered the shuttle into the hangar. She parked it there, and got out of the shuttle with Kare and the others. She ignited her lightsaber and ran towards the door, slicing through it. The other soldiers tried to fight against Rey, Finn and the others, but they fell.

They had heard the stories, after all. Stories of Rey of Ren, and what she could achieve. How she had bested Kylo Ren in battle, how she had done so much during the war effort.

They had heard the stories, and they were afraid.

Rey took down more soldiers before turning to look at Finn, who was injecting a life support pack into one of his wounds. “Are you okay?” she said.

Finn nodded.

They headed further in. And Rey knew that the fight was far from over. After all, they needed to capture Kylo Ren.

And that...that was a promise Rey was going to keep. 


	20. Duel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo face off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The strike team was already getting closer. Kylo Ren could feel it, and he couldn’t help but be angry. Angry enough to feel it all but howling inside him. Roaring inside him. It was like it was all he could hear.

Not only had Poe Dameron rejected him, but he also sought to kill him. Or, even if he hadn’t sought to kill him necessarily, he did seek to capture him. Likely subject him to a fate worse than death. Strip him of the Force. Torture him. Anything. An eye for an eye only made sense, after all. At least in Poe’s eyes. Kylo tortured him. It was only right in Poe’s eyes to torture him back.

An eye for an eye, after all.

He stood up. He would have given Poe Dameron the galaxy if he could. And Poe had thrown it all away. Poe had thrown it away like garbage because he hadn’t understood, he hadn’t wanted to. He just hadn’t understood...

The strike team was getting closer. He had to confront them.

He got up. One of the Knights of Ren stopped him. “Master?” he said.

“I can handle this.” he said. “If there’s any problems, come running.”

He walked out into the hallway just then, lightsaber drawn. He had been training over the last three years, though so had Rey. So had the others. They had all come quite far. But so had he.

The others charged at him. He froze them. All of them, except for Rey. He turned to look at her, spun his lightsaber around, and she charged.

***

The fight between them was, just as on Crait, pretty evenly matched. Lightsaber against lightsaber, weapon against weapon. Spinning strike against spinning strike. They fought ferociously, Rey being determined to take down her opponent, Kylo Ren being determined not to give ground. They fought, and their sabers clashed, until Rey sliced through his lightsaber, cutting off his hand.

Rey looked down at her opponent, at the new woundthat she had given him, and she knew it would have been tempting to end him right then and there. It was so tempting, after his tyranny, his acts of evil...

No. She wouldn’t. Killing him would lead to the Dark Side. But she would bring him in.

It was difficult carrying him, but Finn, Rose and Paige helped, and called for a stretcher when they got back to the hangar. Rey looked at the prone, unconscious form of Kylo Ren on the stretcher, and felt her earlier fury cool to a sort of calm certainty. Kylo Ren’s fate was out of her hands. What happened now was between him and his husband. Rey did wish Poe well, at least. It couldn’t be easy, having to face the man you were still married to, who tortured you.

“Rey.” Finn’s voice cooled her further, softened her, and she turned to look at him. “Are you okay?”

Rey nodded. The war was far from over. But at least with the capture of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, it could start to end.


	21. Imprisoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe confronts his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

When Kylo Ren awoke, he was surrounded by bars. A confined cell that felt too small for him, too isolating. And Poe was there, across from him, his eyes dark brown and sad.

Of course. Of course the scavenger’s better, more _Light_ nature had to take over. Of course she spared him. He ought to hate her —

— except there was something in him where he couldn’t. Perhaps it was the remnants of a peculiar kinship, something that only the both of them understood.

“Where am I?” he said, and he supposed that he had to appreciate the irony of what he just said. It was what the scavenger girl had said to him after she had woken up after he had first captured her.

He wouldn’t be surprised if Poe decided to call him his guest now.

“You’re with the Resistance.”

“The Resistance.” Kylo’s heart sank. He had already heard the stories from the First Order, about what the Resistance did to its prisoners. How they tortured their prisoners in horrific ways.

“ _They’re not just loathsome, but savage, in every way, shape and form. They are far from sentient beings, Kylo Ren. If you cut them, I doubt they would even bleed.”_

“Whatever you do to me,” Kylo Ren said, “You’ll never get the information you want to know.”

Poe looked confused — confused and pained. That was something Kylo Ren couldn't say that he expected.

“You think that I would actually torture you?”

“I doubt there’s any level you wouldn’t stoop to.”

Poe sighed. “We don’t torture.” _Unlike the First Order_ , his silent line of thought seemed to go.

“Contrary to what you think, it gave me no pleasure to do what I did.”

“I see.” _And that makes it better?_ the silent line of thought went.

“It’s the truth.”

Poe seemed to flinch. He still wasn’t used to the idea of Kylo in his head, it seemed. Not like Kylo Ren could necessarily help it. Poe broadcast incredibly loudly.

And yet, he wondered...had he shattered their relationship just through that one act?

“Why did you do it?” Poe said. “Any of it.”

“Because I didn’t belong.”

“Is it about...”

Slowly, Kylo Ren nodded.

“You could have come to me.”

“You weren’t there!”

And I meant nothing to you. It was a sobering truth, but it was the truth nonetheless. Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, had meant nothing to anyone — not his parents, not his uncle, not his husband, not anyone. Not one bit.

“I could have been there for you, Ben.” The bars separated them, so Poe couldn’t hold him (and there was something in Kylo that missed that touch), but he could take Kylo’s hand. Small hand with big hand, a study in contrast.

Kylo couldn’t help but miss that touch too.

Poe continued. “I could have. I’m sorry I wasn’t. I should have gotten to you sooner.”

Kylo paused.

Poe continued. “And I wasn’t leading you on. I did — I do love you. More than anything. I won’t deny that how I feel for you is complicated, but I still love you.”

Kylo knew that Poe meant everything he said. Poe wasn’t supposed to love him, and yet he did it freely anyway. Loved him.

“General Dameron — Poe — ’’

He didn’t deserve it. And besides, how did he — and yet there was something in Poe that ached of sincerity. Something vibrant and warm that couldn’t be taken away.

He swallowed. He could at least go back to feeling like he didn’t deserve all this. That was at least a start.

“I mean nothing to you!”

“Did Snoke tell you that?”

Silence.

“He did, didn’t he?” Poe’s voice was strained, confused, hurt. “You’re everything to me, Ben.”

“That’s not my — ’’

“Name. I know.” _But you are Ben. You were Ben._

Kylo bristled. Even the idea of acknowledging that identity was repulsive.

“Snoke lied to you.”

“I never belonged anywhere.”

“What about me?”

Silence.

“You could have gone with me.” Now Kylo wished that Poe had gone with him. He could imagine it. Poe, his favorite pilot, his husband...

“I couldn’t.” Poe said. “Ben...I love you. I’ll always love you. But I can’t forgive you, and I can’t go with you.”

Kylo could swear that he had been punched in the gut.

“So typical of you.”

“It’s the truth, Ben.”

“I would have given you everything you asked for. And you would have treated it like nothing, all of it.”

“I know you would have. And I’m sorry, Ben.”

“I loved you. I always will. Always.” And not for the first time, Kylo Ren couldn’t help but feel like he was opening himself up. Not against his will, but all too willingly. He’d tried to keep it all under wraps but that...that hardly did any good.

“I know.”

Poe had to leave, of course, later on. Poe lingered in the doorway of the cellblock for a while, and the look in his eyes was eerily calm, sad. He looked in that moment so very lost, and more than that, like he felt sorry for Kylo somehow. Kylo supposed he made a very pitiful sight sitting there in that moment, with his hair lank and his legs tucked in. He didn’t feel like the Supreme Leader in that moment. He felt, in that moment, like someone pathetic, someone defeated.

Poe, in contrast, looked so very beautiful, if sad. Dignified. He looked a lot like the leader he was born to be. Kylo had had his share of fears at times about his husband leaving him — now, even as Poe left, he couldn’t help but feel the coldness, the sadness, between them. He’d lost Poe.

No, he hadn’t. Not really. Not yet.

And yet, in a way, Kylo couldn’t help but feel like he had.


	22. Caffa Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe talks with Holdo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Even leaving the jail cell, Poe couldn’t help but be relieved to see Holdo again. Not like he had disliked her before, but there were times that he was really happy to see her.

This was one of them.

He ought to have been going up to bed, but he doubted, in the end, that he could sleep. The things they had both said...

It was safe to say that Poe wasn’t proud of what he said. And yet what else could he say, really? He couldn’t betray his principles. He doubted he could. Even for Ben.

Holdo met him outside the jail cell. Her hair was dyed blue this time, and she wore a long dress, something that made her look dignified even with the unusual hair color.

“How do you feel?” Holdo said.

Poe sighed, rubbed his temples. “Pretty awful.”

Holdo nodded. “That I can picture. You look like you could use some caffa.”

“I’d say something stronger, but...I guess caffa will do.”

It wasn’t something that others could really picture, having caffa with the tough-as-nails Amilyn Holdo while trying to recover from that conversation that you had with your husband in a jail cell. But here Poe was. Drinking caffa — which was actually helpful. Poe had a feeling that it would come in useful just about every time.

Especially on nights when he was thinking of someone he had once loved, and who loved him with enough passion to burn a galaxy down.

That was the problem. Ben had adored him in their early year of dating, and their early years of marriage. There had been times with the way that Ben had looked at him where Poe could have sworn it was like Ben was looking at something rare and beautiful. He touched Poe so gently and when he kissed him, his lips were so gentle and soft. It was easy to love that loving, caring man who seemed to think that Poe was everything to him.

And Ben...Ben in turn had been everything to him. Loving, gentle, brave Ben, who Poe wanted to shield from everything the galaxy could throw at him, and he’d failed anyway.

“Nice,” he said, trying to focus on the taste of the caffa. “I could get used to this.”

Holdo laughed. “As could I.” She looked at him more seriously. “You seem worried. Is it about...him?”

“Yes.”

Holdo took his hand. It was a gentle gesture. Her hand was different from Ben’s hand — long and elegant where Ben’s was large and sturdy. It didn’t seem to all but swallow him up (there were times being around Ben where it just felt like Poe was engulfed, and he’d loved it), but it cooled him for the moment. Grounded him.

“There’s nothing wrong with the fact you loved him,” she said. “There’s everything wrong with what he did to you. But there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Yeah.” Poe took a deep breath. “I guess not. I just have to wonder...is there a way to fix him? Make him whole again?”

Holdo hesitated. Then, “I wish him well in that department, but I doubt it’s your job to fix him. If Han Solo and Luke Skywalker couldn’t do it, he needs to figure it out himself.”

Somehow, that didn’t sit well with Poe. Even the idea of leaving Ben alone...

He thought back to Ben, in his cell, hair lank, his eyes with perhaps the most pitiful expression that Poe had ever seen. Brown eyes that had always been too expressive. Too emotional, like the rest of Ben.

The best Poe could do was take care of himself first. Leave if things got too much. He could still interact with Ben, but not without any sort of ground rules being in place. And thank the stars for that.

And even heading up to his room, he could be confident in that. 


End file.
